Flat Albert and the Lost Jungle

After Albert's long trip with Ariana, he decided to take Gaby, Marissa, Julie and their friends Colin, Eric, and Becca mini golfing on one of the nicest summer evenings of the year. It all started innocently enough...

However, we soon realized that this was no ordinary golf course, and might not prove very relaxing...


Albert's cool quickly disappeared. He hoped we wouldn't notice how scared he was, but it was hard not to. His fear was quite transparent. It seems it wasn't misplaced...

After the close call with the spider, Albert was even more scared, but we convinced him that things would be safer now that we knew what the dangers were, and Albert was able to get into the spirit of things.

He tried to gain an advantage on the score card by attempting to psych us out by standing in the hole. It didn't work though, because we all got a hole-in-one, except for Albert. He somehow managed to score E=mc^2 on every hole...

There were some more warning signs that we were at no ordinary golfing range, and Julie got really scared. Albert's love for the ladies made him want to reassure her.

This led to some problems, because Albert began to act more confident than he was (he wanted to show Julie that there was some brawn to go with all that brain). The rest of us tried to warn Albert to be careful, but he wouldn't listen to us, insistent on showing Julie that there was no danger. So he took a few chances with a caged beast.

Unfortunately, it got the better of him.

Albert was quite alarmed, but Julie overcame her fear and wrestled Albert away from the deathjaws of the beast (we think he kind of liked being rescued by a strong woman).

With the knowledge that his woman was there to save him, Albert was much more relaxed during the rest of the adventure. In the end, no one did very well in the game, but we all made it out alive, and that was all that mattered.

(Becca, Julie, Marissa, Gaby, Al, Eric, and Colin)

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THE LSAT

Just when everything seemed safe....things got REALLY scary, and Albert had to get Gaby ready for the LSATs. He made sure that she had enough sharpened #2 pencils (he wanted her to take a few more, but Marissa had to intercede and assure them both that six pencils were more than enough). He also did the lucky Flat Albert dance to bring Gaby some good luck (she says she thinks it made all the difference in the world). Unfortunately, she couldn't actually take him with her, because she was worried that the proctors would think that Albert was trying to cheat with that airplane of his, or by blowing smoke signals with his pipe...

Gaby survived, though, and afterwards, Albert knew just what she needed. (Alcohol and sugar, in case you were wondering).

Julie thought Albert deserved a little pampering since he had worked so hard to help Gaby with the LSATs.

Albert and Gaby's boyfriend, Eric, met, and they got along really well.

Always the gentleman, Albert entertained Marissa with stories about the many times he almost quit his career in theoretical physics to join the circus. Apparently he has always wanted to be shot out of a canon. I bet Freud would have something to say about that.

P.S. Albert is really thankful to Kate for showing him how to use Picasa to improve these pictures. He thinks they may have been too dark to chronicle his experiences otherwise.

Summer fun in the sun

After Al's adventure in the dark jungle, he decided to take it easy and catch up with some friends at a party in Gaby's backyard. Things started a little seriously, with Paul and Al discussing the Grand Unification Theory.

It's unclear whether they came to any great conclusions, but we did find out that Roy really adores Al and wants Al to like him so much, that he tried to be a little more like him... Everyone got a little embarrassed, because no one wanted to tell Roy that they could tell his cigarette was made out of chocolate.


The awkwardness soon passed, though, and the fun really started when Gaby and Kate decided to try to get Al drunk.

Al finished his own beer, then tried to have some of Paul and Kate's, too.


Then Kate tried to take advantage of poor Al. To be honest, he didn't mind too much ;)

All that alcohol went straight to Al's head, and he got a little inappropriate, telling Alina a dirty joke that involved the theory of relativity and Marilyn Monroe's underwear.

Everyone was having a great time, but when alcohol starts flowing, things can get a little crazy, and there were a few close calls...

It was almost "Death by Salsa." Al decided he needed to step back and take a little breather.


He really liked Gaby's brand new patio furniture that she had just bought from Target.

The next morning, Roy and Dave enjoyed a lovely breakfast outdoors.


They had hoped that Al would join them for breakfast. Unfortunately, he had a little too much the night before, and slept well past noon. I asked him what his next stop was. He said that he was going to see Nell in Georgia, but said he might make a stop first. Until next time :)

Flat Al's Roadtrip

After attending Victoria's graduation in Charlottesville, Al packed his bags and headed to the Windy City. There, he waited patiently as I finished my last take-home exam and ignored my pleas for answers("I only know laws about thermodynamics and gravity"), and then he, Brian and I squeezed into my car to begin our roadtrip to Santa Monica.

In Chicago, everyone's hair looks like Al's.

Al was feeling a bit under the weather, so he slept the whole first day of our trip. Turns out he only missed about 500,000 cows, 3 windmills, and a goat. But as luck (er, perhaps destiny) would have it, the next day was a bit more inspiring. Between the cows and dust devils in northern Texas, we stumbled across a modern marvel of corrugated steel: the largest cross in North America. Sweet Jesus.

Al says its beauty is in its subtlety.

From there, we exited Texas as fast as we could. We tried a little too hard according to the state trooper in Amarillo. After spending the night in Santa Fe, we headed on to another American marvel: the Grand Canyon.

One can only imagine how many mothers' backs were broken.

Al was having a little trouble blowing in the wind until Ranger Rick came along.

Al, Brian and I then got back in the car for the last leg of our roadtrip. We arrived in Santa Monica at 2:00 am, about 6 hours before I was to begin my first day of work in a law firm.

A coupla old Jews.

My mother wanted to know where Al got his hair done.

From my office, we then ventured on to Brian's. Al made a new friend, someone he felt he didn't have to talk down or up to.

Little Scalia and Al: Two intellectual giants.

The next day's events were meant only for the girls. Al nonetheless found himself accompanying us because Brian had to work (the glamorous life of lawyers!). We then set out to navigate the mass of L.A. freeways down to Orange County.

Is that a Flat Al in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Famished from a long morning trying on dresses, Al stopped at one of L.A.'s finest establishments for lunch.

Flat: "In Germany, some of my best friends were Hamburgers."

From there, we headed to the beach for some relaxing. June Gloom and Santa Monica's "marine layer" (which might be a euphemism for smog, I'm not sure) prevented us from enjoying the Pacific, but Al had fun anyway.

"In Russia, Photo dispenses you."

Brawn over brains.

After an exhausting week in Santa Monica, Al shoveled the sand out of his shoes and packed his bags and LSAT books for Virginia.