Fronterfest 2007

Flat Albert couldn't wait for his next adventure, to Fronterfest 2007 in Columbia, South Carolina. Organized by host Allison Waller as a weekend of fellowship and revelry, it promised to be the largest known gathering of fronters on the east coast. Before setting off early Friday morning, Al and his fronting friends fueled up with members of Al's family.

Al left the family business of coffee and bagels to pursue darker matter.

Flat Albert hit the road, and a few hours later, made the requisite stop at the monument to roadside kitsch, South of the Border.

Al browsed through the souvenirs and tried on a few hats...

"Llamame Alberto"

and wandered amongst the oversized wildlife...
but soon saw South of the Border for the tourist trap that is was:

Al rescued Roy from death in the jaws of tacky novelties, and the fronters escaped to continue on to Columbia. There Allison and her friends treated the fronters to a wonderful dinner of spring rolls, edamame, and soba noodles with vegetables in peanut sauce. As the fronters enjoyed a dessert of exotic ice cream flavors, Flat Albert hit the lights and decided that it was time to get the party started.

Blast off, it's party time!

The fronters rejoiced. Not only was the life of the party present, but Flat Albert's eye-popping appearance also marked the first time he met many of the fronters.

Flat Albert then took on DJ duties and spun some of his favorite tunes...

and joined in on the dancing:

Al and Paul making a sizzlin' double decker sandwich

Tired after a long night of partying, Al found a warm place to crash:

Let's see...Bon Jovi: rocker mullet, ass-tight jeans, and tank top. Flat Al: crazy hair, plaid pants, and cardigan.

Winner- Flat Albert

The next morning, an excited Flat Al woke up the fronters, eager to start their fun-filled day.The fronters enjoyed a lazy morning lounging and eating cinnamon buns, and introduced Flat Al to the theory "U + Me = Us" by the boy band 2ge+her. Al found it quite profound and resolved to look into it more. Albert stayed in that afternoon to further research this new Grand Unification Theory while the fronters took a tubing trip down the river:

The fronters floated aimlessly for a few hours, but escaped the water just as the sunny skies gave way to a flash thunderstorm. They washed up and spent a night on the town, dining on fusion cuisine (Flat Albert's favorite) of Korean and Tex Mex at the Blue Cactus.

The angsty teenager who took this photo was no Einstein at picture taking.

After dinner Flat Albert welcomed the fronters back and everyone enjoyed a night of singing, laughter, choreographed dancing, and banana phones. The merriment lasted through the night.